New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my shit smells like andre
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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