please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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