Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
