dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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