How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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