I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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