You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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