Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just threw up on my dentist
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
