the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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