butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
