This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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