sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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