you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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