You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
