Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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