So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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