"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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