My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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