when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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