I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your dad touched me again.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
