Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
