theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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