I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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