i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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