Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just had sex on a roof
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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