you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im about as happy as oj after his trial
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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