a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize