I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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