You smell like stripper and shame
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
