just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
