i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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