i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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