um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you inspire me to be a worse person
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
