Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize