The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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