My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What a dumb baby whore.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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