i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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