I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
