no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
