Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
