Whod you bang
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She even gives head with a lisp.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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