I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
