Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
