he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
