She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
