For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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