Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize