ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
