That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
