I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
