there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
