But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
