Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize