i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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