Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
