i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
