People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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