the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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