I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
