you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
