Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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