Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
