): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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