Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
