Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
