Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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