I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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