ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
