Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize