my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize