so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
