I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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