dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
