scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
